Paid subscriber issue: Seriously, how much candy is enough?

I've been trying to get to the bottom of why it bothers me how much absolute junk garbage my kids eat and seeing if understanding it better can help me get over it.

This is a tricky subject to grapple with because I am not MAHA — I love a Snickers ice cream bar as much as the next red blooded American. I am not Almond Mom. In fact I was raised by Almond Parents which gave me a (diagnosed) complex around "good" and "bad" foods that I had to work out with quite a bit of therapy. Also, based on writing I've done about kids with eating disorders (and a father-in-law who I think we'd consider to have ARFID in this day and age) I know what a privilege it is to have kids that aren't super picky or have life-threatening food allergies. In addition to the junk food I'm about to complain about, they do eat fresh fruits and veggies and will try just about anything once.

There are even more things not to kvetch about. They get a lot of exercise and go outside of their own volition. The pediatrician says they're growing normally. In fact much (but not all — more on that shortly) of the time they are getting this shitty food on their own, at the gas station or 7-11. This goes in the "what are you bitching about?" category because that means they're out and independent. Most parents our generation hear the criticisms that kids aren't out riding their bikes, experiencing unstructured time, getting into enough low-stakes trouble so I recognize the upside when they have the wherewithal to get on the Tin Can and get together with their friends.

The downside of all that unstructured time is that they're often using it to buy huge bags (bags that seem meant to be shared) of Sour Patch Kids or Twizzlers or Trolli or Skittles or Takis and bottles of root beer and Sprite and Dr. Pepper and Faygo. But if you want independent kids you have to let them make their choices even if you disagree with them.

So, knowing all the things I should be grateful for and the battles I should know to choose, why does the junk food still bother me so much when I find wrappers in the laundry trap or their backpacks or leaping out of the trash can and onto the floor? It's not just the mess. Part of it is the sheer quantity and waste. They have so much candy they lose track of it. My son's Valentine's candy still lurks somewhere in the cabinet even while he goes and gets big bags of Jolly Ranchers.

When I start getting extra salty about it all, my husband posits that it was my upbringing that made me so judgmental, that he ate that much shit when he was a kid. I still think though that our kids have more consistent access to greater quantities of garbage than in our era. I was curious to explore this more so I taped a conversation with them about this a little while ago, which is condensed here: