What we do to try to hang on to sanity

Also: Barfing in inconvenient places

My 10-year-old woke us up at 4 a.m. on Saturday morning, having thrown up down the stairs.¹ Just when you think you’ve seen it all.

In a weird way, that morning I was glad to have his whimperings to tend to because it forced me to walk away from the footage, dissection, dissemination and discussion of state-sanctioned murder. There is a fine line between being informed and hurting yourself by getting sucked into the swamp of sadness/pit of rage.

So how do we hang on to sanity? Today I’m dipping back into the survey I sent out late last year, asking witches what hobbies or habits they cling to for their mental health.

A lot of you said reading, yoga, pilates, listening to podcasts/audiobooks, tennis, running/walking, gardening, knitting, writing, meeting up with friends, therapy and weight training. Related, in a week or a few, I’m going to send out an issue on the topic of Witches who Lift. Also: a lot of you all are on Peloton! Here’s a witchy Peloton chat so you can find each other/exchange faves/find deals on used bikes if you want.

See some further answers below from your fellow readers for sanity-saving ideas and to get inspiration from some of the punk rock shit your fellow witches get up to.

What is a hobby, project, or exercise routine that helps strengthen your tenuous hold on mental health?

Horses, horses, horses, dogs, pilates, weightlifting, and coffee

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Finding and acquiring home decor on Facebook marketplace. Most recently a five foot long wooden pencil that I am painting to look like a Dixon Ticonderoga (the best of all pencils)

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I run between 15-30 miles a week. I watch restoration videos on YouTube (old lawnmowers, watches, you name it!) with the sound off while listening to Sufjan Stevens on vinyl.

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I go to Rumble boxing 1-2 times a week and its dark and loud so i can get made and yell and no one notices.

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Weekly review/planning on Mondays

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weekly donation runs to the recycling center and thrift store; clearing out all the physical junk and emotional junk I’ve carted around for 20+ years

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Pickleball - it reminds me my body works

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long evening walk with spouse every night while the weather holds; stretching youtube video; when my nephews physically climb on me (3 and 7)

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I ride my bike outdoors for about 2 hours most Saturday mornings. It’s the best

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Dance Dance Party Party—all women 1 hr of dancing in the dark.

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Writing (which also hurts my tenuous hold on mental health sometimes?)

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Physical therapy. Keeping my janky body in better working condition helps the mental health. I am in fact mad about it.

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Marathon training. I run so many miles that I feel both crazy and less crazy

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Bike bus - one morning a week I bike with my kid to school along with a bunch of other families

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spending occasional time doing watercolor paintings!

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My book club with other witchy moms

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Walking outside in nature, yelling at other drivers on the road (although arguably this may not be helping with my mental health)

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Spending time outdoors, which includes exercise (walking the dog), yardwork (manual labor is GREAT for mental health), and just sitting there. Also, HRT.

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going to concerts and paying for good seats

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Local group exercise class at 6:15 on Wednesday mornings. It’s usually just 4-5 women who have kids and work and make jokes and groan the whole time. But it’s fun!

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Trampolining, which I refuse to call rebounding, because I like how it makes me feel like a child and am not trying to change that

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My weekly adult ballet class and gardening.

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Taking an etching class.

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regular yoga with the Down Dog app, taking walks, hanging out by a fire, playing videogames or tabletop games

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Audiobooks. I can be somewhere else while cleaning poop out of underwear for the thousandth time.

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My participation on our town’s school board!

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I lift weights at a small women’s gym 2x a week and love it. I love being told what to do for two hours a week and not having to make any choices (after deciding to show up), and I love sweating and getting strong.

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Spinning and baking desserts. They cancel each other out, health-wise, but it does wonders for my mood to have that routine.

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puzzles. I do 3x codewords while disassociating in front of the tv every night

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Paper books read alongside my kids, putting the phone down, or PSYCH using it to actually call someone (which then tricks me into unconsciously doing an hour of housework while we catch up and then looking around after like “Who did this?”)

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Insight Timer meditation app

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Swimming and erging on a rowing machine in my basement

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Cross-stitch right now. I’m really enjoying subversive cross-stitch for bite-sized projects.

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spending time with childless friends

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meditation on Waking Up app, HIT / barre workout on grokker, knitting, reading, playing violin, singing with my family

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Gym. Specifically, classes with a community of people who know me as me, not from my work or parenting

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playing drums

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Growing dahlias, silent reading, baths

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playing basketball with local moms. non-competitively. I started 1.5 years ago on a whim and now my self regulation hinges on it. plus I made new friends and see them twice a week.

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ogling jewelry

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I help decorate parade floats for the rose bowl parade

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Voice lessons - I’m SO bad, but making myself try something totally new and challenging feels good and I need this

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group exercise—I do pilates, barre, spinning, and weight lifting at a woman-owned studio in my town that I can walk to. the walking (no phone! I never take it with me to the gym) is a key part of it. morning workouts also used to get me out of the morning routine at home with my kids but my husband’s work schedule changed, so now I’m tagging in when I get home, boo.

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journaling outside on my porch w coffee every morning I possibly can. Wrapped up in a blanket, if necessary.

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Swimming and gym hot tub afterwards. Recently got underwater headphones that I download podcasts on and it is a lifesaver!

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Taking a pottery class ATM that is awesome.

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Quilting but specifically hand quilting

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Embroidering, pole dancing, spinning, lifting weights

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Walking, drawing, and watercolour painting even if I haven’t painted in months because the best light is at the kitchen table and there’s never any space

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Thrifting

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Orangetheory + yoga + trashy romantasy books

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playing tennis with gals decades older than me; having my little tea with magnesium before bed; writing real letters in the mail to people who least expect it; using the good china on a daily basis

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Encaustic wax painting

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needlepoint. so dorky and slightly trad-wife-y, but I like it

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Romance writing. I’m in a writers group and it’s so fun and supportive.

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Mahjong and a gummy with the gals

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Bird watching. Really!

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Crocheting is good because it’s a lot of counting (rows, stitches, loops) and counting is something I do when I’m extremely stressed anyway so win-win

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Strength training immediately when I wake up, still in my pajamas. I feel so much better starting my day.

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I got into trees a few years ago and love to be outside around trees. I live in a neighborhood with a very active tree care group and I try to attend the weekly volunteer sessions as much as I can, which is maybe once a month.

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Running, and exploring/admiring houses while running

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NYT games 5ever

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Playing piano and going to Body Pump twice a week with the retired ladies help me. I am intrigued by silent book club’s audiobook walks, I saw this on insta yesterday as a local group!

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The Artist’s Way! also, Zumba

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Self-defense and sewing. Also long walks with friends where we don’t try to lower our voices and yell when we need to

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I resent doing it but cleaning the kitchen before I go to bed has made a difference.

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Great British Baking Show

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Voxer with my sister. We talk almost every day on there and it definitely helps.

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massages, video games

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Activism. I volunteer at a migrant center one day a week. Work full time (4 x 10 hour days)

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Photography, going to the Art Institute alone, walking while listening to a podcast (right now Good Hang with Amy Poehler)

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Aggressively switching hobbies every four months, doing a deep dive on how to do the hobby, and obtaining supplies. This is fun. Doing the hobby is fun, but less fun.

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Running long distances (the brain turns OFF), reading escapist fantasy, listening to Hozier

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Getting high and watching Hammer Horror Dracula movies and awarding them points for being 1) haunting, 2) hilarious, and 3) horny

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Lifting heavy weights. Taking weighted vest, walks. Crying!

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End credits

Thanks for reading Evil Witches, a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers. For me, going to OrangeTheory, cooking when I feel like I want to but don’t have to (while listening to an audiobook or podcast), and doing the Sauna Club by the lake are all things that keep me alive/offline/not in the shit lately.

Feel free to forward this email to someone you know who wants to take better care of their brain, but for totally understandable reasons doesn’t know where to start.

Check out the archives here, covering everything from postpartum to relationships to work to cooking to children, too, I suppose. If this issue or any past issues have made you think, “I enjoy/appreciate the 5+ years of content and commiseration on this site and would like to show my support,” I know a way!

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One witchy thing

From a friend—

1. Where are some of the least convenient places your child has thrown up? Reply to this email and let me know: maybe we will do a bracket in March.