Living at home in a pandemic in the winter, again
Bad news if you hate the idea of meal planning
Q from a witch, who lives in Chicago, where it is currently 14°:
Can we talk about small things you have done to make your life better from a household management perspective (for now, we’ll leave aside divorce/faking my death to start a new life in a new city)? Like what can I do in 2022 to make the weekly grind suck less?
I asked witches, off and on Twitter, they have done or bought that has made the act of getting through a week with a family slightly easier and you came through:
“I hired a parents’ (refuse to say mother's) helper last month who comes every week for 4 hours and does all the laundry and dishes and it is MAGICAL. There is of course still laundry and dishes the rest of the week, but for the laundry in particular it makes a HUGE difference. Last week she had to cancel and the hampers got full again and I realized how amazing it is.”
“Meal planning has been a big help for us. The key is that the girls will (for the most part) eat the variety of meats presented with a veggie/fruit side and carbs. I’ll make a pasta dish with shrimp, broccoli, olives, feta and you get to pick what goes in your pasta bowl - Kid B skips the shrimp and Kid A skips the olives. We pick the girls up right around five from after care and get to cooking while they take showers and watch some TV to bring it all together at 6:45.
It looks like this:
Saturday morning - we start by reviewing the school menu for lunches for the following week and see what the girls are into, then lock in school lunch and home lunch days, write it on the schedule.
Sunday: It’s always a big meal that takes more cooking time that will include a least one portion of lunch leftovers. We also do some meal prep for the rest of the week.
Monday: Almost always salmon, steamed broccoli, roasted potatoes (enough for two meals for grown ups), and mac and cheese (kids).
Tuesday: Spaghetti or tacos with ground turkey. If we are trying to eat lower carb, we will make spaghetti squash/taco salad.
Wednesday: Marinated flank steak or pork tenderloin with green beans, roasted potatoes/Mac and cheese.
Thursday: Baked chicken breast, hummus, pita, lettuce, cucumbers, olives, feta (kids pick what they want)
Friday: takeout.”
“Getting a Roomba has been a big one for me. There was this psychic drain from having floors that needed frequent vacuuming (old house, cat) and knowing I lacked the energy to deal with that on most days. Wish I’d gotten one years ago - I’m so much more emotionally content when I can sit down to read and not feel like, JFC with these floors.”
“I’ve started oversleeping so my husband is 100% in charge of the kids in the am. This has also resulted in him packing their backpacks and lunches when necessary and actually paying attention to what is happening at school for them. I walk/drive them to school, so this is a somewhat balanced division of labor.”
“I just bought 4 cheap plastic laundry baskets from Target that we are going to use ONLY to bring the clean laundry upstairs. That way the hampers stay in their spots to keep collecting dirty laundry even if my 8 year old takes 5 days to put her clean load away, and I feel like I will be less rage-y about it if her clean clothes are at least sitting in a designated basket. (The title of my memoir could be Designated Baskets, tbh.) My husband is skeptical/convinced this will mean more trips up and down the stairs for him with baskets but obviously that is the least of my concerns.”
“Sometimes I feel like cooking. Sometimes I really do not. When I do, and it will keep, I always make twice the amount and freeze it. That way, when I don’t feel like cooking, I have a Ziploc bag I can toss in a pot or microwave and have a meal on the table in a flash. Also applicable for nights that we have adult meals that kids won’t eat but I want them to eat more than just mac and cheese.”
“Sunday night family meeting, over dinner. I got this for one of the parenting books I read during COVID. The idea over the longer term is to have it be a collective problem-solving space, but the 101 version (which is where we are at) includes just a simple round of compliments / appreciations and then reviewing the calendar for the week. The appreciations sounds hokey but it can be funny or sweet and then gets everyone to focus and be present for the piece where we talk through what is happening during the upcoming week, where everyone has to be when, etc.”
“I moved to biweekly this year from monthly with the cleaners and of course clean is good but just don’t forget about having more clean before your cleaners days. I really stress my family out with no-Legos-before-Wednesday mandates.”
“I feel like the key is not getting yourself into another thing that needs to be managed. Something that can just automate a part of your life that feels like drudgery is what I find helpful. If you’re at 50% or less every day (I’ve been at 20%), what’s the thing that will raise you up by 10%? Takeout twice a week? A more frequent house cleaner? Saying no to school shit?”
Go to the Twitter thread for many more suggestions or feel free to share your own thing in the comments.
End credits
Hey hope you found something useful in today’s issue of Evil Witches, a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers. Feel free forward it to someone who could maybe use this. If you haven’t yet I hope you consider becoming a paid subscriber which gets you bonus content and threads!
If you have any questions, feedback, or suggestions for the newsletter you can reply to this email or talk to other witches on Twitter. The archives live here.
One witchy thing
This is more of a kid thing than a house thing but I have started reading to my boys before they get ready for bed.
I don't prefer bedtime because I'm tired and the kids get SO punchy and distracted and by the time it's actually time for lights out I kinda hate them--but I do want to read to them. So now instead of having them get clean/put on their pajamas/brush their teeth so they can cuddle in bed with me while we read (and I'm spent from them jumping around, doing pull ups, talking about b.s., milling around in a state of undress) I'm doing it on the couch while they're still in their school clothes, dirty, but at least I have more energy to read and then it's just the express lane from tooth brushing etc --> sleep.
Storing Tupperware with the lids already on has changed my life. Takes up more space but eliminates the daily frustration of fishing around for the right lid to each container. Only exception we make is for takeout containers which get nested with all the tops together. Otherwise every single thing has its lid and if there’s no lid, it gets recycled.