This post is mainly free, but I’m paywalling for it a bit halfway through because it includes some slightly personal stuff. Plus, I have a little announcement/reminder that’s just for the paid subscribers.

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So many people told me how amazing Mexico City was that I worried the experience couldn’t possibly live up to the hype. I was so glad to be wrong! We had an incredible spring break late last month with lots of great experiences and a few literally crappy ones. Here are some notes if you’re considering going with your family someday.

Flying in: We used miles, so we flew from Chicago to Dallas and then into CDMX. Customs/immigration was no big deal. Because of the mountains and heat, there is some turbulence coming into Mexico City, so do what you need to do to get ready for that (it wasn’t traumatizing turbulence, but it wasn’t nothing). Our flight attendant cheered and said, “Viva Mexico!” as we landed, which was a good way to start the trip.

Hotel: We stayed at the Hilton Reforma, which I would stay at again. It has several restaurants on the premises and room service (we got in late, so I was glad we didn’t need to find a grocery store if we had rented a place), plus an indoor and outdoor pool, which is essential for my kids. It’s clean and comfortable, and we got a rate with breakfast included. The breakfast buffet was massive, with a mix of Mexican, American, and otherwise continental breakfast foods, all quite good.

On top of this, we were across the street from Alameda Central, the city’s oldest municipal park, which has various food/craft/junk stands set up in the evening. (The park is so clean, well-lit, and busy that I felt very safe, even walking through it alone at night.) The hotel was also close to several great museums and the La Ciudadela Artisan Market which has everything you could want for souvenir shopping (there’s conveniently an ATM in the hotel lobby). It’s also close to a Circle K and a little mall with a McDonald’s if you have picky kids/need a break from Mexican food. The only downside is that there could be a lot of traffic in the area so twice it took us a really long time to reach the hotel.

Day 1: Frida Kahlo museum and house (you’ll want to get tickets ahead of time). Ideal for: Kids who have some perfunctory interest in art/history, but even if not, the house is a beautiful site with a little snack shop and plenty of lovely courtyard places to sit if you are with a kid who doesn’t feel like looking at all of Frida’s stuff. On top of that, it’s near the Viveros de Coyoacán, a beautiful tree park where you see folks doing various kinds of exercise routines and classes. The Coyoacán area is great to explore, especially around the San Juan Bautista church. Half the pleasure of CDMX is just walking around, checking out the architecture, street food stands, indigenous people selling plant medicine, and folks dancing, smooching, and walking their dogs.

That evening: Luche Libre wrestling at the Arena Mexico. Ideal for: Kids who enjoy sports and spectacle and can handle a bit of noise (it’s not ear-splitting, but bring earplugs or headphones if your kid might be sensitive). Not only is it just good campy fun (I found myself laughing a ton) it’s interesting to hear about how how the matches are a way for residents to let off steam (your kid will learn the word pendejo.) We used a tour guide for the evening through Viator, which I don’t think is strictly necessary, but it’s nice to get cultural context. Plus, Carlos took us out to dinner and brought us wrestling masks as part of our package. There were a million stands outside the arena selling masks, and my kids were desperate for more.

Day 2: Monday was a bit of a random day — I put my husband in charge of everything and he realized most things were closed. The museums he chose that were open, well, they killed time and got us out but I wouldn’t say they are something anyone needs to see (a police museum, an ‘art toy’ [i.e. action figure] museum, and a chocolate museum, which is not nearly as thrilling as that sounds. The kids even convinced my husband to take them to a Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum which I flat out refused. I walked around by myself while they did that. At dinner that night my husband began to feel sick which meant that on…

Day 3: …he sadly had to miss our excursion to the floating gardens of Xochimilco, which is a real shame because it was maybe my favorite part of the trip. On the advice of my friend Catherine we went with a tour guide named Ana who I can’t recommend highly enough. I could write a whole essay about what a fascinating and kind person she is but just trust me. She gives you much more than just a comfortable and knowledgeable tour. Ideal for: Kids of any age who can more or less be trusted to behave appropriately on a boat ride in a UNESCO site (so: stay inside the boat, don’t throw shit off the boat, etc.) There are no bathrooms on the boats, but I think a confident parent can change a diaper on one.

Highlights included seeing how farmers in the area make a living, an axolotl breeder/farm, enjoying taking photos of all the wildlife (and local farm dogs), and eating elotes and quesadillas made on another boat. While we were gone, my husband got himself some meds, electrolytes, crackers and bananas for his tummy.

On the way back, my older son also started not to feel well. Once I set the kids up for screentime I did some solo sightseeing in the Centro Historico, including the Cathedral, which is laughably huge. Like, “Yo dawg, I heard u like churches so I put a church in your church so you can go to church while you’re at church.”

My younger kid and I later went to the La Ciudadela artisan market:

Ideal for: Kids who can be trusted to peruse goods for sale responsibly and not go running off (it’s kind of a maze!) If you want to do some shopping while you’re in town, I recommend doing a little inventory ahead of time of what you might want or need and can pack for the return trip. A lot of things tempted me but am at a boring age now where I’m like “Well I already have a straw tote” or “I don’t think I want to deal with polishing silver jewelry” or “Am I really a wooden display wall mask person?” or “Where would I even display a beautiful copper pitcher?” I ended up getting a colorful tablecloth and napkins and some ceramic salt and pepper shakers. 👵🏼

If you want to read the rest, please c’mon over to the paid subscriber side! My free readers get a lot but I gotta save a few things for the paid folks who go the extra mile to show their support. But I’ll give you a li’l discount to sweeten the deal:

Day 4: My husband was still not feeling great, and my older son sadly had illness coming out of both ends. This is where Google translate is amazing.

I went to a pharmacy and a very nice lady sold me anti-nausea and anti-diarrhea meds plus probiotics and patiently let me take photos of her directions. I can speak some Spanish pretty okay but not so confidently that I want to rely on it to make a sick child feel better.

How did my one kid and husband get sick and my other son and I escape? Who knows. We were diligent about not drinking or brushing our teeth with tap water (and bought this water bottle thanks to a witch from this spring break chat.) Maybe one of them had a drink with bad ice in it. Maybe one ate a tiny piece of evil veg on a taco. Maybe one of them opened their mouth in the shower like Charlotte in the Sex and the City movie (I always hated how that was played as a huge gag; traveler’s diarrhea is really miserable.) The good news is they both got their literal shit together in time to enjoy a bit of stuff at the end of the trip and at least endure plane rides home without too much drama.

Later that morning, my younger son and I went to the Museum of Anthropology. Ideal for: Kids of any age, with plenty of exhibits indoors and outdoors, plus some lovely water features in the courtyard, as well as a nice restaurant. I myself was not very diligent about picking garnishes off my food: how could I when presented with a dish like this?

There are a lot of things to explore in the nearby Chapultepec area; I let my kid choose what to see after the museum so we explored the park nearby for awhile.

That evening I took myself out to dinner at a nice restaurant called Limosneros which was more upscale than most of the places we ate at (we otherwise ate fairly spontaneously on the trip.) I liked it for serving traditional Mexican food that was elevated a bit. Kids with slightly adventurous palates can eat there but it might be more of a grownup spot if your kids are very little/need some tried and true foods/can’t abide leisurely service. Since I was alone I only ate things I knew my family would not like, like a bone marrow appetizer and squash blossom tacos.

Day 5: I stayed at the hotel with my sick kid (reading a book, not working/doing chores; could be worse!) while my recovered husband and younger son went with Ana to the pyramids at Teotihuacan. They had an enjoyable trip and Ana gave them the straight dope on what was authentic to the area and what was a reconstruction. My kid enjoyed collecting obsidian stones and seeing a demonstration of how you can create art using natural local substances. They then had lunch nearby at a restaurant in a cave.

I then did a bit of sightseeing on my own [if you can get away to sightsee on your own ever on a family trip; DO IT] near the hotel, including the Palacio de Bellas Artes building, where I just saw the lobby and viewed the Diego Rivera murals from afar because I didn’t feel like waiting in line to buy a ticket. I also went to the excellent the Franz Mayer and Kaluz art museums. If you have kids, I think the Mayer one might be more enjoyable since, even though it’s not really a Mexican art museum, it has so much random stuff in it like this 18th century Midge doll:

Plus it has a beautiful fountain courtyard where you can get a snack and a drink and hang out.

That evening: Since my older son was still wobbly, we just did a low-key walk around the Parque Mexico in the beautiful/bougie Roma Norte area. Ideal for: Kids of all ages since there’s also a playground in the park and if your kids like dogs it’s extra fun. This is probably sacrilege, but we were a little over tacos etc by that evening, so we went to Maque for dinner on Ana’s recommendation since it had other kinds of food in addition to being a very tempting traditional Mexican bakery. My younger son and husband had spaghetti, and I had a baguette sandwich. The pleasantness of Roma Norte came in handy when my younger son was sorta being a tired PITA baby and he and I walked around the block until our food came.

Finally that night we went through the Alameda market so the kids could buy some last minute souvenirs. I had promised them they could have 400 pesos ($20 each) to spend on whatever souvenirs they wanted if they got off their screens quickly that evening. Whatever it takes! My sick son perked up a lot thanks to capitalism and the presence of an intriguing bb gun target shooting stand (manned by an extremely nonchalant guy mostly looking at his phone.)

Last Day: We didn’t do anything but I decided that that would be the morning I treated myself to one of the hotel breakfast donuts and hot chocolate and damn I’m glad I did! Both were great. The tour guide at the chocolate museum told us about a saying that goes along the lines of “chocolate for bread; bread for chocolate” where you dip a little bread in your hot chocolate, pour a little more chocolate, get a little more bread. This is a good philosophy.

Flight home: This has nothing to do with Mexico City at all but we were inches (it felt) from landing at O’Hare and whoop we went right back up, our pilot told us shortly later, due to wind shear. It actually felt very smooth and not terrifying and I’m grateful to the people on the plane near me who didn’t react (my screen-obsessed seatmate didn’t notice it at all.) Just a thrilling little way to end a trip although I prefer boring.

Finally, I was joking/wondering ahead of time whether people in Mexico would give us a hard time as Americans about our president and his policies and whether we would have any issues getting in or out of the country. We didn’t. We didn’t exactly talk politics with a ton of people there but Carlos and Ana didn’t seem to have a hard time grasping that Americans do not necessarily vote for whomever is in office. Obviamente.

What a great trip. We saw so much, learned so much, ate so much, had so much fun, all without getting jet lag. If you would go I would, realistically, just know that sometimes shit happens and to plan what you can for that, both mentally and physically. ¡Viva México! Viva la Vida.

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Thanks for reading Evil Witches, a newsletter for people who happen to be mothers. If you made it all the way down here that means you are a paid subscriber! I really appreciate you for being one. I know you have many newsletters you could subscribe to, especially during these cuckoo economic times, and I am very thankful you are one of mine. (If you have a friend who is going to Mexico City please feel free to forward them this issue if you think they’d find it helpful!)

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One witchy thing

“Triple A,” or Age-Appropriate Asshole

A phrase some parent friends told us about for when discerning whether when your kid needs emergency intervention for toxic behavior or is displaying behavior/viewpoints typical for an age and stage known for being obnoxious/contrary.