The perfect care package by the perfect mother

My older son had his first experience at sleepaway camp last week—5 nights, at a camp I visited for over ten years in a row myself.

I know the witchiest take on camp would have been to send him off and enjoy having 50% less kid in the house for a few days and not think of him at all, but I wanted to send him a care package. I remembered the excitement of hearing you had mail at camp—the anticipation of getting the package after lunch, of opening it, looking through the new stuff, and the satisfying feeling of getting things your camp friends also wanted to look at (my witchy friend Kate and I, still friends, bonded over Archie comics my mom sent me.)

My kid does not need more stuff in any way and camp should be its own reward but also, I wanted him to enjoy that feeling I had, too. But the world’s a bit different since the early-90’s or so, the last time I was there. So I asked some witches for their advice on what to put in a care package that might be different from a birthday gift or holiday gift or long trip type purchase.

These were some of the good pieces of advice I got:

“I tried to send things that could be shared. Glow necklaces and Mad Libs were a hit. Maybe a card game like Uno or something. I think I sent a giant pack of Twizzlers since that seemed low on both allergens and mess.”

“I’ve never been to camp and my only reference is Camp Anawanna (we hold you in our hearts) but something silly and novel like a disposable camera or pack of magic tricks? And snacks to share with bunkmates? Do I live in 1990 still?”

“Mad Libs, Pokemon cards, comic books?”

“Silly string, tattoos, water balloons-all of those things are kind of a pain to clean up but fun.”

“I’d say glow things, something that can be shared, a book of goofy/silly jokes. These. I sent him a Pokémon pillow buddy to sleep with once. I always mail my kid some photos of his dog/brother/home. He loooooves to get photos!”

“Go to Five Below and get some cheap fidgety things. Maybe get an expensive card that pops up or plays music. My kid is going to camp for two weeks, luckily his camp doesn’t allow care packages, I fucking love the Quakers, so I’m going to send him a really fancy card to make him feel loved. “

“Last night I threw together a cheap Snapfish photo book for my son to take to camp, and then paid more for fast shipping than the book cost.”

“A hammock! A small game to play with cabin mates, and a book.”

“I now understand why my mom didn’t mail me care packages. Because she was like YOU ARE NOT HERE and I am done thinking about you. My kids are going to camp also. I hate this stupid 5 night camp bullshit and long for 4 or 8 weeks only like my childhood. You can take the girl out of New England but you can’t take the month long camp out of her.”

*

With that in mind I went to an indie toy shop nearish me, and if you have the time to go to one, I highly recommend it. Local toy shop owners know their inventory and have way more fun, quirky items to look at, especially individual small, flat, light things that you can really squish into a 9.5 x 11.5 padded envelope such as I have on hand. (A friend just gave me the hot tip that they don’t sell toys so much anymore at World Market, FYI.)

I ended up going with:

• A wacky rubber ball that bounces all over the place
• A parachute guy
• Mad Libs
• A Whoopie Cushion
• Glow in the dark pens + a notebook
• Temporary skull tattoos I had on hand leftover from Halloween
• A little robot guy who lights up when you put him together
• A windup hedgehog that spins around and flips over
• Some photos I got printed up at Walgreens of us, the dog, my kid’s friends, and of his favorite stuffed animal (whom he left at home)

Not bad, right? And like a bitch who is really on the ball, I even took the package to the Post Office the day before he was due to leave for camp, June 18.

~*except*~

I forgot to incorporate Juneteenth being a federal holiday into my schema, so while the package did get to him, it was on his last night at camp. Ah, well.

Learn from my mistakes. Check the calendar before you go to the post office. Or better yet, skip the care package and just put more money in your kid’s commissary, or forget your kid overall! Camp isn’t free and neither is your time. In fact, to hell with them. Forget I said anything. (But I still think you should go to the whimsical toy store and buy yourself a fun new toy. Don’t you deserve it?)