Excellent job Paul! If you start a Substack I will definitely sign up my 11 y.o. and it will be the only thing I let him read on his dumbphone while I let his little sisters make TikToks and eat all the Lucky Charms.
lol my friend sent me a video of her Oldest Child reading the piece out loud and then her little younger brother burst his little head in adorably and on-brand-ly
This newsletter needs to be sealed in a time capsule for future generations of therapists. The Paul vs. James saga is the Shakespearean drama we didn’t know we needed—equal parts satire, sibling roast, and psychological thriller.
Also, “The clock is the new TV” is the kind of line that deserves to be cross-stitched and passed down as a family heirloom.
In all seriousness, this is brilliant comedy wrapped in a deceptively silly bow. Parenting satire is hard to nail without sounding either bitter or too sweet—this hit the perfect, spicy middle. Bravo, (definitely not Paul).
very impressed! great work by Paul! my 13yr old first born shares so many of these unfair burdens and slights. He just can’t manage to get ahead of his cute 6yr old sister no matter how hard he tries. Play the long game, kids! 😉
Same same. My husband and I recently received a 2-page letter of evidence (mistakenly described as ‘reasons’) why we love the 7 yo more than the 10 yo letter writer. We were assured that there were additional reasons not included in the letter due to space and memory constraints.
I committed the crime of having younger kid as phone wallpaper (after the older had a nice long run). A shared family laptop has the younger’s name for a password. And we congratulate the younger for getting 80’s on his report card when the older got “ not 1, not 2, but 3 100’s.”* And the obligatory remark about the younger constantly annoying the older (which is apparently ignored) and the older ALWAYS getting blamed FOR EVERYTHING.
(*I thought this was a nice touch.)
I’ll put my shoes on while one of you calls the authorities. 😉
Hahaha. Those first two are pretty good pieces of evidence. But the existence of your second is the killer--"You were such a good baby we had to have another one!"
This is legit funny and I read it aloud to my 4th grader— also a big brother to a real nightmare of a cutepie little brother— and we both laughed very hard.
The clock is the new TV!
Excellent job Paul! If you start a Substack I will definitely sign up my 11 y.o. and it will be the only thing I let him read on his dumbphone while I let his little sisters make TikToks and eat all the Lucky Charms.
lol my friend sent me a video of her Oldest Child reading the piece out loud and then her little younger brother burst his little head in adorably and on-brand-ly
This newsletter needs to be sealed in a time capsule for future generations of therapists. The Paul vs. James saga is the Shakespearean drama we didn’t know we needed—equal parts satire, sibling roast, and psychological thriller.
Also, “The clock is the new TV” is the kind of line that deserves to be cross-stitched and passed down as a family heirloom.
In all seriousness, this is brilliant comedy wrapped in a deceptively silly bow. Parenting satire is hard to nail without sounding either bitter or too sweet—this hit the perfect, spicy middle. Bravo, (definitely not Paul).
Thank you! Honestly I was prouder of him for this than when he medaled at the science fair. (Because being funny >> science)
Paul! This is so impressive! Obviously writing skills flow in the genes.
aw 🤗 the family that roasts together stays together (I hope)
very impressed! great work by Paul! my 13yr old first born shares so many of these unfair burdens and slights. He just can’t manage to get ahead of his cute 6yr old sister no matter how hard he tries. Play the long game, kids! 😉
I also have a little brother so he happened to catch a sympathetic editor with this one.
Same same. My husband and I recently received a 2-page letter of evidence (mistakenly described as ‘reasons’) why we love the 7 yo more than the 10 yo letter writer. We were assured that there were additional reasons not included in the letter due to space and memory constraints.
haha please share a few of the most/least apt. I think olders confuse "having to give extra attention d/t being a pain in the ass" with "love"
I committed the crime of having younger kid as phone wallpaper (after the older had a nice long run). A shared family laptop has the younger’s name for a password. And we congratulate the younger for getting 80’s on his report card when the older got “ not 1, not 2, but 3 100’s.”* And the obligatory remark about the younger constantly annoying the older (which is apparently ignored) and the older ALWAYS getting blamed FOR EVERYTHING.
(*I thought this was a nice touch.)
I’ll put my shoes on while one of you calls the authorities. 😉
Hahaha. Those first two are pretty good pieces of evidence. But the existence of your second is the killer--"You were such a good baby we had to have another one!"
YEEE! rr rr giddy giddy
This is legit funny and I read it aloud to my 4th grader— also a big brother to a real nightmare of a cutepie little brother— and we both laughed very hard.
aww thank you! I’ll let Paul know. Survivors of little bros unite
You're a witch, Paul!
he once told me that he’s going to start his OWN newseltter called the Cool Vampires
SIGN ME UP
Thanks for the chuckles!
I’ll let Paul know you liked it. I asked him if he wanted comments on or not and he said yes so I’ll pass on the good ones ;)
lolololol
That picture is a whole vibe! 🤣
lol
He is an adorable little bb!