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Lara's avatar

For years and years I thought my mom "didn't work or do anything" until I became more of an adult and realized she does... literally everything. Managing my executive dad's life bc he can't do it himself (like we joke that if she died he would just waste away in dirty clothes bc he doesn't know how to go to the grocery store, cook or turn on the washing machine), managing my sister and my life and activities, running the PTA, sitting on MANY non-profit boards, volunteering... and all while being at my inept dad's beck-and-call. Looking back I am genuinely shocked by how much she did UNPAID and I feel so ashamed that I used to say "oh she's just a housewife." She's truly a renaissance woman who can plan a black tie gala to raise money for charity and then turn around and disassemble a toilet to fix a leaky pipe, all without breaking a sweat.

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Claire Lovell 🏳️‍🌈's avatar

Omg this. I serve so many volunteer roles on behalf of my children. Recently my eldest got a gig on Broadway so now I’ve become an expert in how that all works (obviously at the expense of my sanity). I hope when they grow up they appreciate all we do to give them these beautiful lives!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

well that is so awesome about your kid (it's obviously all bc of you!) I often struggle with knowing how much to bitch and moan about this stuff because obvi the kids didn't make me do it but I don't want them to assume (like I did) that this happens via magic or thanks to all my "free time"

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Claire Lovell 🏳️‍🌈's avatar

Thank you. :) Her hard work, too, but I obviously helped her for two years with auditions before she booked this. But yeah for example I run a volunteer org that puts on many amazing events for parents and children in my town and my kids love it but also just assume that I know how to do it all, have time to, and it’s just something moms do. I have made friends doing it and enjoy it, while at the same time it’s a lot of work and I’m tired and don’t always want to deal with it all.

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Adrienne Gunn's avatar

THIS IS SO REAL OH MY GOD

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Holly P's avatar

[YEARS ago] Joined the PTA for a month, all my ideas at the first meeting were shot down, did one pizza event, heard committee members were talking shit about me, sent the principal a polite email, quit, and never looked back. I already went to grade 8 once, I don't need to repeat it

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Good, I'm glad you knew when to walk away.

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Leonor's avatar

gahhhh, this is triggering.

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Jenny True's avatar

I related to all this so hard, as a mom with a full-time job who is also president of her kid's PTA WHY.

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Jenny True's avatar

Oh and now on my to-do list: "Put PTA on my resume."

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

You do it for the nookie

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Megan's avatar

Welp. I’m VP of the soccer board, coach my daughter’s soccer team, and now I’m running for board of Ed, so I feel all of this.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Salute to you for going for it and being the change re: the board

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Megan's avatar

Oh and Claire, I read this via the substack app so idk how to get the paywalled episodes of the pod! I enjoy it a lot.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

I will get you hooked up!

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Edan Lepucki's avatar

This reminds me of when I realized all my dinosaur knowledge just...expired when my eldest lost interest and my other two never got fixated. At the LEGO store last week I yelled to him, "Check out this ankylosaurus key chain," and felt the old thrill of expertise!

(Otherwise I am careful to never volunteer for PTA positions b/c my friends have gotten sucked in and I just cannot devote myself!)

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

I am mourning the dino days a little bit too. It was a short but intense period.

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Sri Juneja's avatar

This was an amazing article. Man, moms are totally amazing. Also, my kid is in preschool and I've learned that I will be running for the hills when PTA comes calling lolsob.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Thank you Sri!!

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Mia's avatar

WHAT?!?! You don't look back at the school board meetings with nostalgia? I thought you loved us!!!

I HATE party planning to the point that I somewhat begrudgingly had a small, stripped-down wedding (ceremony, brunch, and I was out.) Years later? I am the president of my school's parent association, planning parties.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

you know what drove me NUTS was how <redacted names> made it seem like such a stupid priority to utilize the CMS they were paying thousands of dollars for that could have easily made them lots of money in fundraising but no it was a better use of time for me to go get a $15 gift card from Dave's Rock Shop. Also loved hearing that <redacted> was going around telling everyone about the toxic parents at the school. Love you all, not the system.

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Mia's avatar

Understood.

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