104 Comments
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Nicole Garelick's avatar

A dad at school asked me if we had our "elf" out to which I replied, we are Jewish and like to scare our children into good behavior with generational trauma instead. He has not spoken to me at pickup since.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

i would want to talk to you MORE after that

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Nicole Garelick's avatar

this means a lot coming from you, Claire. :)

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Ellen's avatar

This is the energy I’m looking for at school pick-up. I would have befriended you if I had overheard this comment.

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Nicole Garelick's avatar

There were sadly no witches in line with me.

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Leonor's avatar

I laughed out loud at this comment. so good.

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Nicole Garelick's avatar

I just clarify for everyone here the elf seems to be more effective. Just a heads up.

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Amy's avatar

Omg you are my people, that’s hilarious!

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Heather K's avatar

👆🏻 A+ answer!

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Caroline's avatar

My friend and I run sidecar.work - a fractional employment service connecting small businesses, nonprofits and independent professionals with people (especially women!) who want to work some number of hours per week (1-40!) but need the flexibility of being exclusively remote. It was born from a need for more opportunities for moms & women to have more flexibility to balance all of life's demands. We are currently looking for businesses & nonprofits who need some level of support, at any size or scale, and team members who are looking to work a few to a lot of hours per week/month!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

This is great, I hope witches see this!

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Liz Welsh's avatar

Thank you! I work in tech and just lost my job and this seems like a fantastic stopgap

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Gabs R's avatar

I am one of those moms looking for some work! Thanks for dropping this!

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

This is so awesome! I think I need social media help(which maybe is too small of a job?) I'll check it out and pass it on!

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Caroline's avatar

Absolutely not to small! We have some team members who work just a few hours a month and definitely have social media experience :) Appreciate you passing it along!

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

I filled out your form:)

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Katherine Goldstein's avatar

Love this elf of the shelf sendoff!

I'm a journalist and substacker, and in 2025, I'm writing my first book, How to Find Your People, which is all about concretely teaching people how to build an IRL community. I don't want people to wait until 2027 when the book comes out to get these research-backed insights, so I'm starting a How to Find Your People Club: a project for 21st IRL Century Community Building in my substack. We'll be doing exercises, hangouts, chats, and even games to help you find your people wherever you live. Come join us! https://thedoubleshift.substack.com/p/a-project-2025for-good

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

my other friend had her kids write the elf a letter saying "Thank you but we need you to stay at the North Pole because you make [the littlest kid] scared." Not all the kids were on board lol.

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Katherine Goldstein's avatar

the elf is a hard no in our house. when my older son asked why we didn't do it, i firmly told him, "every family is different."

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

haha. I said "I don't do that."

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Heather K's avatar

We managed to avoid my kiddo knowing about it for years (a pro of pandemic isolation and of being at a school with lots of non-christian and immigrant families) then my nephew asked her about it this year. She is 8. I told her no eleves are allowed in our home. When she asked why, I told her cats don’t like them and she found that satisfactory.

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Heather K's avatar

Also that nephew is getting a worse present this year.

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Rachel R's avatar

My third studio album, After the Light, which my producing partner once described as "not NOT an album about postpartum depression" officially releases on all the streaming platforms on 12/21, but you can preview a track (or order a CD to ship in advance if you're looking for a holiday gift) and get some other cool perks at: rachelrynick.com/after-the-light-preorder

I also made a secret page just for you all to preview the most witchy song on the album:

rachelrynick.com/witches

Let me know what you think if you take a listen!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Congrats on your newest baby Rachel!

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Holly P's avatar

Great song!

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Rachel R's avatar

Thank you!

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KL's avatar

Jabari's author is a witch?! I'm verklempt, that's amazing. Big hit in our house, definitely checking this new book out immediately!

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

I am! I have another book coming out in the spring and should be doing readings etc. Let me know where you are! (if that's not weird) maybe I can add your library/bookstore to the list:)

(And also that's what I've been saying reading through these posts! I feel like Buddy: "I KNOW HER!!)

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Lisa Sibbett's avatar

Gaia, another Jabari fan here! Just the other day I was cleaning out our kids bookshelf with the kids in my life and we were deciding what to give away and what to keep and Jabari Jumps landed solidly enthusiastically in the keep pile. I didn’t know you had another Jabari book, let alone this new one! I’m stoked!

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

Oh my gosh, Lisa! Such high praise. Thank you!!

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Sri Juneja's avatar

Love Jabari Jumps! Excited for the next Jabari adventure.

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

Sri I just signed up for your substack! Its great!

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Sri Juneja's avatar

Omg this is what it feels like to meet Brad Pitt. Omg ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Hard core fangirling over here 😅😅

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

haha Brad Pitt is way better.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

hard disagree!

I wanted to tell you, we know a guy here named Jabari who I think has to be probably 50 years old. I told my boys I was talking to the author of Jabari Jumps lately and they said "Oh isn't that the book Mr. Jabari was named after?"

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Sri Juneja's avatar

Yeah no way… you are >>>>>>>> Brad Pitt! It’s not even a contest.

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KL's avatar

I'm in Philadelphia, so suspect we're either already on the schedule or they're already booked out XD. I know the librarians here love your books, they recommended them to us.

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

Ooh I have a good friend there! (my publisher is not like sending me on a tour or anything:/ But the upside: I make the list!)

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Bridget's avatar

This is quite outside the realm of the many creative enterprises here, but if any California witches need to do their estate planning, reach out to me! bburns@whiteandbright.com make sure you mention this newsletter and I'll give you a friends and family discount -

Also my kids have read Jabari Jumps since my youngest was like 1, I feel like I've seen a celebrity knowing the author is a witch!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

^^^^^ This is so important! I hope people are on top of their estate stuff.

(We also love Jabari Jumps)

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Holly P's avatar

"If you like dumb stuff" well I am fully seated. You had me at "dumb stuff"

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

I know right?

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Diana Lind's avatar

Ah, I love the classifieds and have already clicked on so many links! I'm a paid subscriber but forgot to add mine in advance: I write The New Urban Order, a Substack that chronicles the way that cities and people have changed since the pandemic. https://thenewurbanorder.substack.com/ Another example: a recent piece I wrote for Slate about getting beyond the "human doom loop" of virtual life: https://slate.com/business/2024/11/remote-work-life-loneliness-isolation-human-doom-loop-zoom-virtual.html Thanks, Claire, for creating this community!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Thank you Diana!!

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Emily Gray Tedrowe's avatar

My favorite EW newsletter, every year. Inspired by so many witches doing so many great things!

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Amrita Vijay's avatar

I podcast about platonic co-parenting with my best friend @ www.DontThinkTwicepodcast.com

And write weekly about intimate friendship, community, and also fun shit @ www.emergencycontacts.substack.com

We also run an arts consulting business together and happy to take on your programmatic or production quandaries for live events/experiences @ www.vijayandstephens.com

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Amrita Vijay's avatar

Oh! I almost forgot our forthcoming baby food company! Sign up to be notified of preorders at

www.PetitePalates.com

Baby food pouches inspired by ACTUAL global first foods - dal, congee, hummus, etc. High on protein, fiber, iron, and caloric density, low on sugar.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

I thought you’d get a kick out of this: some kids’ supplement company has been leaving free samples on everyone’s door in my neighborhood. They’re for “sleep” or “digestion.” Absolutely no information included and of course not FDA approved. I’m just so curious about the decision to be like “One great way to get these gummies into kids’ bellies: anonymous door drops!”

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Amrita Vijay's avatar

Truly a deranged marketing strategy.... Here's some free untested street drugs for your babies! What's the worst that could happen?? 😬👎🏾

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

oh wow congratulations!!

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Lisa Sibbett's avatar

I love your newsletter, Amrita!

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Amrita Vijay's avatar

Major mutual admiration society!! 🩷🩷

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Businesslady's avatar

I was just thinking yesterday "oh I bet I missed the deadline for the classified post." Feels so good to be right!! 🤪

This won't be news to regular EW readers anyway but here's a periodic reminder that Dear Businesslady (from Ye Olde the Toaste) has a book, & I'm also writing work-advice columns again over on The Stopgap--links below. I need letter fodder so if you've got a career connundrum please hit me up! dearbusinesslady@gmail.com

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Is-This-Working/Courtney-C-W-Guerra/9781440598494

https://www.thestopgap.net/tag/dear-businesslady/

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Kelly Turner's avatar

Oh, I cannot wait to dive in! When I was in middle school I started an advice column in the school paper. Naturally I also wrote the letters. One got a little too dramatic and I had to reveal myself to the newspaper teacher.

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Businesslady's avatar

Hahaha I love this. I actually wrote a made-up personal essay for my own highschool newspaper’s point/countetpoint feature because my friend was the editor & accidentally assigned two points, no counterpoints. It was about a school tradition of buying flowers to hand out on Valentine’s Day & I assumed the position of someone upset about never receiving one, which prompted a LOT of speculation over who this anonymous author could be. Never thought I’d find someone else who started dramz via excessive creativity in the school paper!

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Kelly Turner's avatar

My drama was also romance related. It really sells for the adolescent market. 😉

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Ellen's avatar

I have been hired to run a science fiction and fantasy book club for my local bookstore, J. Anderson’s Books in Larchmont, NY. If any SFF-loving witches in Westchester would like to join, the link is here: https://www.jandersonsbooks.com/product/jab-book-club/113

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

oh that is so fun! 👽

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Kelly Turner's avatar

Ellen, if you're taking pitches I think Beautyland by Helene-Marie Bertino is so good and compelling. An excellent gate-way sci-fi title, IMHO. https://kellyturner.substack.com/p/beautyland-marie-helene-bertino

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Ellen's avatar

I have heard so many good things about Beautyland! But it was important to the store owner that we feature new releases rather than titles that have been out for a bit

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Kelly Turner's avatar

Save it for the extra credit, spinoff bookclub then! It really is a good book with a compelling narrator who I keep thinking about months later.

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Lisa Sibbett's avatar

Hi witches! I have a weekly newsletter about kinship and community for people who choose to help raise other people’s kids – and the people who love us. It's called The Auntie Bulletin.

https://theauntie.substack.com/

Here are a few representative posts to give you an idea:

The Radical Politics of Auntiehood

https://theauntie.substack.com/p/the-radical-politics-of-auntiehood

On Befriending Kids (this one went viral!)

https://theauntie.substack.com/p/on-befriending-kids

We Need Ways for Overwhelmed Parents and Lonely Adults to Find and Support Each Other

https://theauntie.substack.com/p/a-tale-of-two-surgeon-generals-warnings

I Don't Give Gifts to Kids (or Anyone) and Nobody is Mad at Me

https://theauntie.substack.com/p/i-dont-give-gifts-to-kids-or-anyone

I hope you'll check it out, subscribe, and share with the Aunties in your life -- by which I mean, any adults who help make your life easier by loving your kids.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Love this!

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Brigid Strait Johns's avatar

I love love love your newsletter and used your line about gifts on my own kids recently, with great success.

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Lisa Sibbett's avatar

YESSSSSSS. This makes my day, Brigid!! Did they roll their eyes? Tell me they rolled their eyes!

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Brigid Strait Johns's avatar

She SCOWLED and said “noooo, fiiiiiine.” I am in fact getting her Christmas presents (especially if a diy box fort made of ten sofa boxes counts), but that line really popped the bubble of “but my sister got…!”

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Lisa Sibbett's avatar

LOLOLOLOL

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Veronica O’Hern's avatar

Handmade earthy garb, soaps, oils and lotions (made by my sister) using beeswax and herbs from the bees and plant friends that live in my yard: https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheCompostPile

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

it's 5 degrees out here and the idea of something cozy and scented sounds really good right now

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Veronica O’Hern's avatar

Agree! A little dusting of snow here and my hands and skin are screaming for the lotion bars.

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Gaia Makes Books for Kids's avatar

Um those barrettes are INSANE!! wow

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ohhihellothere's avatar

Is it okay to promote my husband's work, as he is a brilliantly talented and creative freelance musician/composer and I am but a boring desk worker?

He writes musical theater, commercials (he wrote the purple M&M song!), and does all kinds of scoring, songwriting, teaching (voice and piano), and music directing.

He wrote an 80s-inspired musical retelling of A Christmas Carol, as well as the stories Little Matchstick Girl and Gift of the Magi - you can watch a digital ticket of the most recent Chicago performance here (you can also listen on Spotify to the original cast soundtrack!): https://www.teamstarkid.com/vhscc24

He's brilliant and kind and patient and collaborative and you may love working with him!

https://www.clarkbaxtresser.com/

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

Thank you! He knows the purple M&M?!?! 🤩

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ohhihellothere's avatar

He wrote her!!

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

🤯

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ohhihellothere's avatar

And also you would not believe how little money he got for this as the songwriter and one of the producers on the recording - he actually got more money for his voice being on the backup vocals than he saw for writing the song and producing the track with Amber Ruffin's singing - such is the capitalist structuring of "agency work"...the middlemen music houses who employ the song writers make god knows how much, and the actual creatives make peanuts.

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Claire Zulkey's avatar

this is so fascinating and depressingly not surprising. my husband's and my marriage go on the brink once a year as he does some very essential military-grade work for a brand that is showing its distributors how awesome they are at their annual resort conference

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Sri Juneja's avatar

You are so kind for doing this Claire and I now have so many cool business women and witchy creators to support!

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