Could have used the time I spent taking this photo and uploading it to pick up the bats or the Spider-Man costume but nah.
A friend of mine told me the other day she’s not exercising right now. No time. That’s fair—I AM exercising, but in exchange, I’m not cleaning the house. I have a theory that everyone has to fall down on the job on ONE adult thing to make room for the other things, so what’s yours?
Also not exercising because in the summer I would so much rather be gardening with that brief window of time each day that I can allot to self-care. (Also gardening is kinda exercise and why be an overachiever! I’ll have all winter to do cardio. Or not.)
Also, as an extrovert with a million acquaintances I have finally given up on the idea that I'm going to be a good friend to all of them. I made a list of my 20 favorite people in the world and they're my VIPs for birthday wishes and checking-in texts. It's sad to relegate everyone else to a "b-list" but there are only so many hours in the day... *note - I'm not avoiding these folks, just declining the job of staying in touch*
You know what’s funny, I spend so much time worrying about being a good friend and have spent very little time worrying about whether others were being good friends to me! (Not in that I needed them to step up—just that we hold ourselves to silly friendship standards. I am so curious what those of you with daughters in particular tell your kids about what it means to be a “good friend.”)
Yes!! Often when I worry that I'm not being a good friend I stop and think about when the last time they contacted me was, etc (it's obviously not a competition, but often it's a helpful reality check)
I realized that over the last chaotic year I fell down on connecting with my partner. Our relationship generally just works, but we realized a few weeks ago we both had big ideas and work things we just had kept to ourselves - our convos have been mainly coordination and co-parenting. We cut out of work early yesterday while the kids were still at day camp to have an actual conversation and it was glorious.
I am not cooking. I am buying excessive amounts of fruit at the grocery store and eating it all day and feeding my kid hot dogs every damn night for dinner. I am also not paying much attention to the mail. Or my email.
I'm deferring a college class and also exercise is wayyyyy down the list these days. Or the intense exercise I used to do is replaced with "I will escape with this audiobook for 15 minutes while I wander up and down our street"
Meal planning. Which is horrifically self-defeating because at 6:30 every night I look at an unfed 3 year old and think “crap, he had pizza yesterday” and then I feel bad both physically (from lack of vegetables in my diet) and mentally (from over feeding the child pizza).
Not doing normal levels of cleaning, which is fair to middling at best. Too hot and humid, working at home so dealing with work mess as well as home mess. Just not that important right now.
I'm not really cooking well or cleaning deeply. There are a lot of hot dogs and carrot sticks. I'm sweeping not scrubbing. Walking to errands is my exercise, instead of like, you know, "exercise."
I was feeling very bad about all the things I was dropping but I have been dropping much of them to carve out time for my non-exercise personal hobby, so thank you for reminding me where my extra (ha!) time is going to.
Oh you just fall down on the job on ONE thing? Overachiever. :)
I am NOT texting in group chats unless urgent. I can't keep up with 45 unread messages & gifs.
I AM loving this thread & the idea that we cannot do something & the world will go on!
Brilliant Claire!
~Mo Callahan Rimlinger
Also not exercising because in the summer I would so much rather be gardening with that brief window of time each day that I can allot to self-care. (Also gardening is kinda exercise and why be an overachiever! I’ll have all winter to do cardio. Or not.)
Gardening is definitely exercise.
Also, as an extrovert with a million acquaintances I have finally given up on the idea that I'm going to be a good friend to all of them. I made a list of my 20 favorite people in the world and they're my VIPs for birthday wishes and checking-in texts. It's sad to relegate everyone else to a "b-list" but there are only so many hours in the day... *note - I'm not avoiding these folks, just declining the job of staying in touch*
You know what’s funny, I spend so much time worrying about being a good friend and have spent very little time worrying about whether others were being good friends to me! (Not in that I needed them to step up—just that we hold ourselves to silly friendship standards. I am so curious what those of you with daughters in particular tell your kids about what it means to be a “good friend.”)
Yes!! Often when I worry that I'm not being a good friend I stop and think about when the last time they contacted me was, etc (it's obviously not a competition, but often it's a helpful reality check)
I love this!!! So much of my internal conflict comes from tormenting myself on whether I am or am not a good friend and how to be one.
I realized that over the last chaotic year I fell down on connecting with my partner. Our relationship generally just works, but we realized a few weeks ago we both had big ideas and work things we just had kept to ourselves - our convos have been mainly coordination and co-parenting. We cut out of work early yesterday while the kids were still at day camp to have an actual conversation and it was glorious.
High five!
I am not doing laundry. I got my kids to run everything through the wash yesterday but now I need to fold it all and I'm passionately ignoring it.
Just keep turning it back on to "fluff" with every intention of folding it at the end of that 10 mins...repeat x5
Oh shit. You just reminded me I have laundry in the dryer.
my laundry room has become the kids' dressing room and I'm all for it!
ugh I wish I had a laundry room! My washer and dyer are in our unfinished basement.
sorry, I should have clarified: my laundry room is my garage, LOL.
I am not cooking. I am buying excessive amounts of fruit at the grocery store and eating it all day and feeding my kid hot dogs every damn night for dinner. I am also not paying much attention to the mail. Or my email.
I'm deferring a college class and also exercise is wayyyyy down the list these days. Or the intense exercise I used to do is replaced with "I will escape with this audiobook for 15 minutes while I wander up and down our street"
I am not paying any attention to social media. even though technically I'm supposed to be doing it for my business/practice/professional development.
Meal planning. Which is horrifically self-defeating because at 6:30 every night I look at an unfed 3 year old and think “crap, he had pizza yesterday” and then I feel bad both physically (from lack of vegetables in my diet) and mentally (from over feeding the child pizza).
I think I'm taking a different approach - dialing down my GAF by 5-10% across the board; maybe it would be wiser to cut out one thing instead...
Not doing normal levels of cleaning, which is fair to middling at best. Too hot and humid, working at home so dealing with work mess as well as home mess. Just not that important right now.
One of my clients calls it "Curating Your Life," which I think is a much more chic way of saying dropping a ball or two: https://www.gailgoldenconsulting.com/time-management-book-curating-your-life/
I am also not cleaning. Or improving. I am embracing stasis.
I'm not really cooking well or cleaning deeply. There are a lot of hot dogs and carrot sticks. I'm sweeping not scrubbing. Walking to errands is my exercise, instead of like, you know, "exercise."
I'm not doing any of my non-exercise personal hobbies, which is actually kind of shitty, I'm realizing.
I was feeling very bad about all the things I was dropping but I have been dropping much of them to carve out time for my non-exercise personal hobby, so thank you for reminding me where my extra (ha!) time is going to.