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Alexis's avatar

I desperately tried to breastfeed my first baby after a traumatic emergency C-section after which I went into shock. This was in what was called at the time a "baby friendly hospital" in NYC, which meant that they had agreed to "promote" breastfeeding exclusively and did not supply any formula samples, information about formula feeding, etc. If your baby went to the nursery or NICU and was physically capable of breastfeeding, they would bring it to you every few hours around the clock to nurse instead of "allowing" supplementation with formula. But they also did not have any lactation specialists on staff. Nursing "help" was provided, if at all, by the regular, overworked, non-expert nurses. At home, I frantically googled for something that would reassure me that my baby would be fine on formula and found NOTHING. My son would not latch properly, and nursing was so painful that I sobbed through every session. Every time he started stirring and I thought he would need to nurse my anxiety started to build and I sometimes started crying just in anticipation of the pain. I swapped to a pump, which was less (though still) painful, but since I was told that pumping would lead to a poor supply, I woke up every 3 hours around the clock to pump instead of letting my husband swap out some of those feeds. Eventually I started bleeding into the pump. We got an appointment with a private LC (for which I had to pay out of pocket) and when I told her about the blood she said, and I will never, ever forget this: **"oh, that's no problem, a little blood won't hurt the baby."*** I continued pumping and bottle feeding for 4 months, pumping every 3 hours around the clock. Even after all this, when I swapped to formula I felt like a complete failure. (When my second baby was born 6 years later, my husband made me swear that if breastfeeding was at all difficult, I would swap to formula because of how miserable the experience was with my first. I agreed and even bought a can for the pantry so it would be there to remind me of my promise. But this time I had a less traumatic delivery and somehow managed to find a decent LC who diagnosed me with adhesions on my nipples and arranged for my OB to prescribe something; she also gave me explicit permission to use formula if the pain was intolerable. That permission was EVERYTHING. I ultimately ended up breastfeeding my second baby for 18 months. And guess which one has the food allergies?)

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Annette Silveira's avatar

Do something or shut the fuck up. How do we make that our national motto?

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