Is your child a first day of school flop?
A legal trial via newsletter
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I saw this witchy discussion online recently and wanted to distill it for your back-to-school pleasure. See if you come to the same conclusion the group came to:
Q: Am I nuts here?
“Do you witches let your kids pick their own first-day-of-school outfits? Yesterday I took my kids shopping and let them buy new outfits for the first day, which is fun, harmless, and helps them get excited about school. They don't pick what I would pick, but whatever, who fucking cares, it's their lives. My 7 year old son picked out a stupid sporty t-shirt because he's sporty and likes terrible sporty-related things. He's excited to wear it and feels like it expresses his personality. But my husband is annoyed that I let them pick our their own stuff. He just texted me, ‘They have terrible fashion sense and need adult guidance.’ Am I nuts here? I feel like this is the absolute last battle I want to pick with my kids, and also, like as their parents we should let them express themselves? Stupid sportswear and all? I mean? Feh.”
Here were the most salient arguments I saw presented by the forum:
"‘Fashion sense’" is not a thing when it comes to kids. Also if they are weather-appropriate and reasonably clean, who the F cares.”
“You can’t dress them after age 5—maybe even earlier for some kids. And, this is not a battle I’d ever choose.”
“My therapist said that kids are in control of so little in their lives that innocuous choices like what to wear are EXACTLY the kind of thing they should have a say in. She said it’s like practice for making harder decisions later. PS and yes this means my son ONLY wears his Pikachu shirt pretty much.”
“I just wanted to add - thank you for ‘feh’!”
“That sounds like your husband’s hang up about his own fashion sense. Good call on letting the kids express themselves. If they feel good and confident in what they picked, they’ll have a great first day.”
“I have always let my daughters pick out what they want to wear as long as it's seasonally appropriate because I am SO not dying on that hill. However, I do feel some kind of way when some of the other girls look so perfectly put together with their hair done just so. This is *definitely* about me and worrying about being judged by other moms as someone who is working too hard to do a decent french braid or whatever, so I don't put that on my kids. Still, I also wonder how people got these docile children. I can't even put a bow in my two year old's hair without her yanking it out and yelling at me.”
“My therapist told me that it's not my kid's job to make me look like a good mom. I try to influence my kids’ outfit choices but if they push back. I don't fight about it except for practical reasons (no flip flops to school, you have to wear a jacket, etc). Both are now independently putting together outfit choices that I think are awesome. I found out recently a friend still dresses her 10 year old daughter and found it really really odd.”
“There are things I refuse to buy for various reasons, including if I think it’s too ugly, but otherwise they can do what they want 360 days of the year. The other days are holidays or grandparent events or something and I force my 4 year old to wear a shirt with a collar.”
“If your husband is volunteering to get them dressed and to school, then he can also be their fashion guides.”
Verdict: Your husband is insane.
Health • First prize
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